(Ignore this, its just for the thumbnail lol)
Alright, it’s been a minute, hasn’t it? I did warn you guys I might be inconsistent with updates, but I’ll never forget to spill all the tea on what’s happening in my life, especially now that I'm fully immersed in campus adventures. It’s been about a week since my last post, and guess what? I’ve officially decided to do a weekly blog update! Everything I experience gets stuffed into one post-boom, one giant, fabulous weekly update. I was low-key worried no one would want to read my long rants (I mean, who loves essays?), but let’s be real—if I’m writing it, you're making an exception, right? RIGHT?
So, to kick things off: OOTD. I’ve been waiting to show this off since... forever? Okay, so I’m no fashionista, but does it matter? As long as I feel cute, we’re good, right? Right! No one's here to judge. Well, except maybe me, against myself.
Now, let’s talk campus life. I’ve been doing a lot of exploring (read: getting lost multiple times). You know those “day in the life of an international student in the US” YouTube videos? Yeah, that’s me now! I used to envy those people when I was in Nepal, and now here I am living it. But am I happy? Umm... well, that’s complicated.
Homesickness, I once thought, was about crying over the phone to your parents, telling them how much you miss them. But now, I’ve realized it’s not that simple. It’s more like lying awake, staring at the ceiling as an empty void creeps in, and trying to breathe through it, not fully understanding why it’s there. It's not about the bed being unfamiliar or the mattress uncomfortable—it’s something deeper.
I can't find the right words to describe what homesickness truly feels like. It's not that I'm unhappy, but there are moments when all I want is to go home, to hold my mom. But I can't imagine ever saying that to her. I haven’t broken down in tears or anything, but there’s this quiet realization that, when I do return home, it won’t be the same. I’ll be a guest in the house I grew up in. My bed won’t feel like mine anymore, and even the kitchen, and my favorite spot—the veranda—won’t recognize me. I think about how one day, I’ll marry and move away, and the life I’ve spent 18 years living with my family will be just a memory. The more I think about it, the more I understand that life is never constant, and maybe it’s not supposed to be. There’s a reason I’m here, on the other side of the world. Maybe I’m meant to find something here. (And no, that’s not just wishful thinking.)
But aside from the ache of missing home, I feel so content. Content with the person I’ve become—more responsible (even though I still lose my keys and cards all the time). I know if I had stayed home, I wouldn’t have grown in the same way. Here, I feel like I’m in charge of my own life. If something goes wrong, it's on me. I’m responsible for my own choices, and that sense of accountability makes me feel fulfilled.
Isn’t that what we all want, after all?
First Friday of freshman year? OMG, it was a blast! So, me, my roommate, and her friend hit up this restaurant (let’s not even talk about the food—it was amazing), and afterward, we headed back to the dorm. And what do we see? People dancing, flashlights waving around, some kind of ice thingy being passed out, and everyone just living their best lives! Naturally, I jumped into the crowd. It’s been ages since I danced, but let me tell you, it was pure fun. 10/10, would recommend it.
Now, back to the serious stuff for a sec, I’ve been really loving the study environment here. It’s not just the education itself, but the vibe of independence, like everything I do here is helping me grow and become... well, *me*.
Life, with all its twists and turns, doesn’t stop for anyone. It changes because it *has* to. And maybe, just maybe, that’s a good thing. I’m here, miles away from home, but I’m learning, growing, and becoming the person I’m supposed to be. It’s not always easy, homesickness, confusion, and late-night existential crises are real-but it’s shaping me into someone stronger. I’m finding my path, one small (sometimes clumsy) step at a time.
And at the end of the day, isn’t that what life’s all about?
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