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Four-leaf clover

"Once the lawn is mowed, I will begin my search again. Well... the ones that still remain even after everything gets cleaned are probably lucky, no? I might find them." I remember being a kid, playing outside, when someone told me that four-leaf clovers were rare. If you found one, you were lucky. I've always loved the idea of being lucky; more than that, I love the feeling of being lucky. I wouldn't say I am obsessed with it, but I'm definitely someone who romanticizes the little things. I somehow convinced myself that if I ever found a four-leaf clover, life would become just a little more dramatic, a little more magical. Ever since that thought, the idea of finding one has never really left me. I wonder if it even makes sense. I wonder if there's any point to it. What exactly am I looking for? Sometimes I think it's like the guy in Temple Run. He just keeps running and running without knowing where it's all supposed to end, until one day... boom. He...

Finding Comfort in Solitude: My NYC Stay-At-Home Day

 

Good morning dearest readers,

Normally I sit down to write when it's night but was quite tired yesterday. Now you may think I probably went to actually wander around the streets of NYC, those skyscrapers, shops downtown, and whatnot. But hey, I stayed home all day. Why? Periods. 😊 Yes, I do feel I have a lot of things in common with Jethalal; obviously, the topmost would be fortune (others are height? weight? sense of humor aaiya). But as someone who enjoys solitude, it wasn’t that terrible. Lmao, I watched Khatron Ke Khiladi all day long with random snacks and chocolates. Made me remind the time I was in Nepal. I was so free, unemployed, and also wasn’t a student at the moment. Mostly that was how I spent my days not for the whole year but surely when the year came to an end.


If you ever find yourself overthinking, think about me. I will make you insecure about that as well, lmao. As in, you will realize you are not that great of an overthinker. I am gonna make you inconfident on that. I stayed like that for hours thinking, “How can I make my blogs dramatic?” And then I went to a different zone. I started thinking, “How do content creators make their content interesting? Like, how can my blogs be interesting if all I am doing is watching KKK all day?” 😭 And then I understood why they go on trips most of the time. And we here, watching, pass comments like, “Kati ghumna janchan hau enharu" bichar ghumna gayena vane ta content nai hudaina raicha aaiya. Bro, just imagine—have I actually started thinking I am some sort of content creator? Like, bro, what is this level of delusion called? I am not saying it right now; it’s all that I overthought yesterday.


Apart from this, yes, every day we realize something new. When I was at home in Nepal, texts from your siblings were non-existent. I mean, who even replies to their texts? Who are they? It’s like, “This person is with me 24/7, we can share things live,” so their social media status is literally non-existent. But now, when my brother sends me a text, for a second I just ignore it. I see the message and leave it on seen. Unconsciously, it’s like, “Yeah, we will talk when we meet,” but then “when we meet” is gonna be years from today. Like, dayum, now I have to give attention to my brother as well, like online? Bro, you exist now? 


This. Is. Unbelievable. 


The fact that I am the one telling him to send voice messages about his day is more concerning. OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO, LMAO.


When people say nobody really cares in NYC, yesterday I got to see that as well. I went for a walk for an hour over the markets near where I am. I had my shorts and a T-shirt on; I looked like a homeless person. When I went to the market, bro, no one looks at you. Like, in general, when we are walking, we make eye contact, we get judged by some, stared at by some. Here, nobody cared. I felt so confident. Like, see, I am short. I thought in the US there will be people so tall that there would be no sign of my existence, but it’s not like that. On top of that, everyone takes the “mind your business” thing seriously. And that’s also why I am a little more confident about living and studying here. Touch wood.


I think this will be it for today. Was it boring? (Don’t you dare say yes). Don’t worry, today I’m gonna do something crazy. Yes, CRAAAZZYYY. Lmao. 


Bye, guys. See you.

 These phts are kept random asf. Dont mind pls cutie






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